"I’m gonna have to tell them they can suck my fucking proverbial dick - Well guess what, they can kiss my fucking ass, it’s over - That’s 97? Well fuck that, we gotta do 3 more - Jesus Christ, will somebody shut that fucking dog up? - This is all fucked up, man - They deserve the fucking disaster - Fucking idiots, man - You should be a fucking poet, I think I just caught your cold - I need breakfast before I face this shit - Chef Leto, the cook from the ghetto - Blow me. Blow me. Blow me, you fuckers - Just don’t take a shit on my fucking head, buddy - Fuck her and fuck you, and fuck your tree, god dammit - I work for years on these fucking pancakes - So anybody who says we are doing this for money can suck it - You freaks, you perverts - Don’t spam your country, nobody cares - I need that damn hat, dammit - I want you on your bed, screaming - I’m a strict teacher, I will punish you if you don’t do as you’re told - Rock’n’roll ain’t easy, baby - I tried calling the company, they don’t answer the fucking phone. So Mountain Valley spring water, answer your fucking phone, man - I got too much fucking hair - You don’t have to be straight to appreciate my fucking ass - Don’t tell anybody but we’re all sexual people - I can twerk better than most of the people of this planet, honey, if you only knew - My ass is perfect, really - Clothes are optional - Fucking Iphone - This is Thirty Seconds to Mars, you know what it’s like : chocolate and peanut butter, the yin and the yang, salt and pepper, skin on skin - If you’re out there, son, daughter, send me a text or tweet - Yes of course, I’m handsome - Failure is your friend, remember that. But wait, have we ever met with it? - Favorite book. Fifty Shades of Grey - I will open the fucking door, it’s a little too hot in here already - What a fucking pen is this? - Thank you for getting my Oscar dirty with your fingertips - I bet this is the first person to ever give their Oscar away for an orgy in a press room, my god - Pass it around, but if you have swine flu, please don’t touch - Once in a while we make love. But you know, once in a while - You don’t think I have the legs to attract a decent dude? - You don’t achieve sexual nirvana or as they say, blow your load, for quite some time - Testicles sound like icicles and I was wondering how you could combine them - Hey, how’s it going? Oh no questions okay thanks guys, see you later - I’m just an animal all around - Spike Jonze could nail this: a movie about a movie about a movie about who put that person in a movie - Somebody is really fucking wasted here - Did you guys have any idea I was this weird? You did? Fuck you - If they don’t stand up, I’m gonna sit down for the rest of this fucking show - I can’t feel my fingers, Jesus fucking Christ - A good lover always leaves something for the second date, translate among yourselves - By the way you guys, how are you so cool? My god, I was such a pig when I was your age. Covered in mud and poop - Don’t pull my penis off, I need that, especially after the show tonight - I have something really important to say, I love you and I want you to have my baby - It’s really fucking cold up here, actually my fingers are freezing. Yes, my nipples are hard - If I choke on this cough drop, somebody please come and resuscitate me? - This is like premature ejaculation or something, I don’t know. Hold on, it’s getting stronger, wait for me honey, almost there, I can feel it, come on! Turn that motherfucker up, let’s go - And I’m gonna give them a photocopy of my penis in case you wanna look at that - Come say hello, look into my eyes and I will get you pregnant. And if you’re a guy, we can figure that out later - Excuse me, I’m speaking at you, look at me - God, I wish I could make love to you all at the same time, the guys included, it’s okay - Hold on a second, security, buddy, you’re not running the fucking show tonight, I am - You’ve got nice hair buddy, you look like me. You have a good, big one, too? Good, we are brothers- I’m gonna dedicate this song for everybody over here. No? Ok, fine, fuck you, everybody over here. You’re my favorite. Je t’aime. Ma cherie. Ma petite amie - So sexy. You just ruined the myth of Swedish women right here. I didn’t know Grandma was coming to the show, guess I’ll see ya backstage, Grandma - Are you offering your girlfriend to me? He’s like "No way, buddy". If you think about it, let me know - You want me to jump? No, but then you gonna rip my fucking dick off! And I need my dick! You understand what I’m saying? - Wait, should we take our clothes off before we play this song? Because it’s a very sexy song, have you guys seen the video? I hope you’re eighteen years old when you watch that, it’s very filthy. I don’t wanna be a bad influence on your young lives - By the way, it’s Jared Leto over here, not Abraham Lincoln, and I’m talking. You can come a little closer if you want, I won’t bite, unless you ask nicely - Hurricane? Sex, fetish, bondage, latex."